I want to make up my mind whether God is or God is not. I want to find out why evil exists. I want to know whether I have an immortal soul or whether when I die it’s the end.
That’s a quote by a character named Larry from W. Somerset Maugham’s novel, The Razor’s Edge, which happened to be the first book of 2014 that I completed! (See the growing list here).
It’s an older book my dad recommended to me because, well, it’s about life.
Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Life’s full of tough choices, and sometimes those tough choices involve letting those close to you go so they can pursue their own dreams. Even if you’re not in in them.
Although the ending left me kind of floating, it’s fitting because that’s what life does. There’s no real resolution — in the book, or in life. What you’re left with is your decisions and the memories they brought.
I’ve often wondered whether I’ve made the right decisions. If I would’ve been happier if I did something different. If my own values are even steering me in the right direction.
I wish I knew how to find the answers to Larry’s questions. I wish I could travel the world like he did and try to figure it out. But at the same time, I know that a life without worldly things would never make me happy…and I wonder if there’s a flaw in that?
Everyone says they just need happiness in their life and they’re good. But what’s really tricky is finding the right combination to attain that happiness. Or is it just as simple as being?